- Anti Joke

What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

What is my name? I dont know

What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

Three baby seals walk into a club...

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

America were the American dream is something only foreigners believe in

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

Knock knock Go away

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops