Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

whats worse than being payton johnson being black

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

whats 2+2? 4

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

Replacement Referees

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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