- Anti Joke

why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

im a willy bum bum

How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

How many fingers do most people have? 10

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

Stop me if you heard this one before.

knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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