How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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