knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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You suck big fat slobber

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What did Jesus say when he made the first black person? What another perfect creation to this world!

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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