Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

i lyk 2 eet pup

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

Knock Knock *opens the door*

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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