A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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minorities

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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to get to the other side.

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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