You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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