What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Rebecca Black.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops