What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops