whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops