How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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I LIKE TRAINS

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Women's rights

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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