I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Woman's Rights

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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