What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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