How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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tom pauling

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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24

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Faithful men.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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hey

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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