What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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I regret everything.....

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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women's rights

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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