Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops