-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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there was a blonde red head and black they were on misty mountain the black was the smartest so she jumped off and said bird flew like a bird the red jumped and said falcon and glided like a falcon then the blonde the dumb one tripped said oh crap turned into crap and wentt to the bottom and bursted

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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What's worse than being arrested? Being arrested twice

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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Knock Knock CUM IN!

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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