What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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Knock knock Come in

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Set up Punch line.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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