What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops