A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Knock knock *open*

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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