what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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