Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Women's Rights

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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