Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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