How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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