How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops