John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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