Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

derp

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops