Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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69

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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ur gey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops