-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

roses are red violets are too im bleeding

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

Netflix and chill

Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

Jews

Rush Limbaugh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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