Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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A chicken and a horse go into a bar due to an imperative of an earlier joke, they notice that there are flowers on the bar. The flowers are red and blue. They wonder what they could be.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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