everybody loves raymond

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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