Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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What's 9+10? 19.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops