Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Wanker

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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I am very humble.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops