What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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