What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

One below was by me: Walter H

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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