I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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