Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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24

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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