knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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3 like an eel

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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