What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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My Nan, that is all.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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