Take this and put it- No.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Neil is a reterd.

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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