What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

Chuck Norris.

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

DEATH.

So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

Getting up for a black person on a buss

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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