What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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Lewis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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