so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Sarah Palin

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Knock knock come in.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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