Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hail Heetluh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down -6

ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops