What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

So a blonde walks into a wall...

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

2 + 2 = 4

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

Why was the boy laughing? Because

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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