If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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