Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

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Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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This sentance contains three errers

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What do you call a black man? Black

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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