What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Kys

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What can fly? Lots of things

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

216-409-7176 Call me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many light bulbs? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops