What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like colin but not as much as apple

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm winning at Scrabble.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

OIO

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops