A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

more chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did John stay home from school? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops