A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

Potassium? K.

Do you love me? No.

My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

c:

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

what do you call a monkey? a monkey

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...