whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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YOU

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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