Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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Hello

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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