what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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